The Breast Punishment Primer – Part 1

The Obligatory Preface

In my semi-long and somewhat illustrious career as a merchant of the pleasures of breast punishment through Darker Pleasures, I’ve learned a lot about the “thou shalt’s” and “thou shouldn’t” of erotic tit torment. Many of them I’ve learned through trial and error, while others I’ve only had the luxury of reading about. I’ve had tons of hands-on, teeth-on, yard tool-on, kitchen cutlery-on, hair accessory-on, and gadgets-yet-to-be-patented-on practice in the fine art of breast and nipple torment. I’ve probably written, photographed, and scripted more breast bondage and tit torment scenes than most men have lost socks in the black holes that haunt clothes dryers.

In short, I’ve learned boatloads of information about safely tormenting titties, and I know just as much about “Who gives a damn, they belong to me and I’ll break them if I want to” tit torment.

A wise man once said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Not only should that be the adage of all people trusted with the fate of a gorgeous pair of knockers, but I was also told it should be mine as well. So, with the increasing number of folks asking me for advice over the years, and because the person that pays my check is always harping at me to do something constructive with all the time I spend drooling over archived shots of all our gals’ tormented titties, I thought I’d put together this primer in hopes of helping everyone out a bit.

I know that you’ll all be eager to skip from one humorous anecdote to another, without wasting your time reading all the boring, serious stuff. Even so, I’d really suggest you resist the temptation. The boring, serious stuff is very important. This future Pulitzer-winning masterpiece is meant to be read in its entirety. Like the Bible and other good books, if you pick and choose references out of context, you end up with all sorts of problems. Look at all the guidance counseling and emotional trauma that resulted from the Crusades.

Oh, one other thing before I move on to the more fun stuff. Though The Breast Punishment Primer is based on reliable and sometimes scientific information, and I’ve tried my most danged to make it useful and informative, this is all off the record, folks. Despite my credentials in Internet webmaster breast torment website circles, I still claim only a layman’s expertise. What I won’t claim is any responsibility whatsoever for what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom, office, kitchen, S.U.V., back yard, dungeon or secret outdoor get-a-way.

Inflicting physical pain on a consenting pair of Hill Twins can be erotic, fun and profitable, but it should never be taken lightly. Remember guys and dolls, your eager little submissive may have signed all rights to her breasts over to you in that multi-million dollar pre-nuptial agreement, but they’re still attached to her chest.

Don’t do anything foolish.

Just a little legal disclaimer to satisfy our attorneys. Now, on to the show.

“Booby is Only Skin Deep”

Lesson number one of good erotic breast torment is to remember the old adage, “Beauty is only skin deep,” but for our purposes, I’ll be modifying that saying a bit.

Since we all agree that boobs are beautiful, the slight modification I’m going to use should be easy enough to adapt to. That modification is, “Booby is only skin deep.” “Booby is only skin deep” is the cardinal rule of breast torment for all you budding breast punishers out there. Any time you and your wife, girlfriend, next-door-neighbor, slave, or professional escort of the day get together over tea and crumpets for a little mindless afternoon BDSM, always make certain that nothing you do harms anything beneath the naked covering that you can see with the naked eye.

Now, let’s take a rather boring scientific kind of look at one of our favorite objects of torment, shall we?

The innards of breasts are made up of an assortment of fat, glands, ductwork, veins, and other odds and ends that don’t take kindly to being treated disrespectfully. Remember, female breasts are called female for a very good reason, and areas affected by hormones as everyone with that particular chromosome pattern (boy, am I going to take heat for that one). If you damage any of these underlying parts, titties often swell up and start to resemble granite or some similar metamorphic rock, scream and yell, refuse to do your laundry, call the F.B.I., turn into alien beings, or some combination of these.

The three parts that can take a bit of punishment without ruining your day, however, are the nipple, the areola, and the skin. (Yes, I know that these parts are all made of skin. It’s called poetic license, roll with me here…)

The nipple and areola, are the darker parts of the breast. They are generally located at the very tip of the breast and are therefore the closest thing to you when you’re looking for something to grab, bite, or otherwise torment. They are also, by and large, the most popular part of the breast, though we find that they don’t jiggle nearly as well without all the other stuff beneath them. They range in normal color from various shades of brown to various shades of red and pink. Blue and purple come later.

These little parts are actually quite tough, as they were originally designed to be sucked, chewed, clawed, pinched and otherwise mauled by little children who have no idea what erotic tit torment is, yet accomplish it with a skill that would humble the most accomplished BDSM Master on the planet.

Some people would argue that, since little children don’t have teeth, they couldn’t possibly do anything that would hurt. Try asking a nursing mom about the accuracy of that statement some time. Once she’s removed her knuckles from what remains of your teeth, she will explain otherwise, I assure you. Think about it just a minute. Kids are capable of destroying anything. In fact, if our government would simply tell children that all the video games that they could ever want lie just beyond enemy lines, our next war would only last 5.3 minutes at the outside. But I digress.

One would think that one small nipple and areola would have little chance against this type of destructive force, but there they are, just waiting for your clamps and nipple stretchers, proving that they are very tough indeed.

In actuality, the nipple is just crammed full of nerves and can be very sensitive. Great care should be taken when torturing a nipple to make certain that the torments give some kind of informed consent to whatever nasty that you’re perpetrating on it. Even if your love slave claims to have released her entire being to you and is begging profusely for you to use the Cuisinart, keep in mind that hindsight is always twenty-twenty. She may not be quite as cooperative the next time once the white-hot skewer of doom is removed and she’s had time to realize the extent of damage your Dom-deeds have done.

The areola, on the other hand, is arguably less sensitive in some ways than any other part of the breast, including the nipple and the white meat. You might consider this in your travels, as it is in basically the same vicinity, and of similar coloration, as the nipple, and so can be used as a willing substitute for many activities, particularly when cold or really excited, at which time it becomes very hard, crinkly, and chewable. This was the part that was actually meant to be addressed by your ankle biting children. It’s just very difficult explaining that to creatures that drool, spit up and poop for entertainment.

If you watch a curtain crawling infant in action on an unsuspecting breast, they’re really gumming for all their worth on the areola, trying as best as their screaming little mouths will allow pumping from a reservoir of milk that gathers just beneath it and squeeze dinner up through the nipple. Rumor has it that some really enthusiastic moms will keep breastfeeding their kids well past the time when their children get teeth, into their college years and sometimes into dentures. If these lucky little children were gnawing directly on their mom’s nipples with their pearly whites, do you really think they’d be drinking anything besides Similac or Enfamil? Got milk? Not out of my tit you don’t!

Now that I’ve covered the working parts that you’ll be playing with, let’s move on to the rest.

The white meat otherwise referred to as “skin,” is typically known as the boob and makes up the majority of the outer covering of a love mound. In some ways, it is very sensitive to touch and another light stimulus while in others it is pretty much capable of taking on whatever your sadistic heart desires. Many women claim that they can handle tough stuff with their areola more easily than the rest of their boobs, particularly the bottom half that is rather like the dark side of the moon and hardly ever sees the light of day, unless you’re lucky enough to have a slave that frequently cavorts topless in the outdoors.

If you’re concerned about your partner’s enjoyment, I’d suggest experimenting on the gentle side at first. If you’d rather not the experiment, breast skin folds very nicely between the hungry jaws of a clothespin.

As I’ve mentioned, inside your garden variety breast there are all sorts of things you’d probably rather not see. That’s why the creator in his or her infinite wisdom hid it all so smartly behind such an attractive cover.

I took my thirteen-year-old to the science museum recently, and he dashed straight to the anatomy section, being the testosterone-laden adolescent that he is. At first, he asked if he could take home pictures and scale models of the naked twenty-something-year-old homo-sapiens female that they had in full three-dimensional plastic splendor. That was until the display rotated around to reveal the same plastic woman with an equally three-dimensional plastic cutaway version of the same breast that looked something like the anatomy pic above.

Since they didn’t have a cutaway of her cute heart-shaped ass, he immediately converted, rather palely, from being a tit man like his dad to a butt man like his brother. Personally, I was thankful they didn’t have that ass cut away or he may have developed gender preference issues.

Anyway, inside the candy coating are predominantly milk glands, fat tissue, and lymph nodes. The more fat, the bigger the tit, so you folks that like ’em big might want to keep your cholesterol in mind. As for all these glandy-duct-fat-things, most of them can rupture if handled improperly. Busted fat tissue can harden into lumpy things that confuse doctors and x-rays and scare the pee out of most women. Mishandled milk glands can hamper milk production and cause other nasty problems. Lymph nodes, though certainly there for some important purpose, are the site of one of the meanest cancer problems around, and once infected, frequently spread cancer through a body like a bad chain letter.

In summary, regardless of the color of the breast part that you’re about to rope, clamp, pierce, or otherwise perpetrate on, remember most importantly that you want to concentrate your efforts on the candy coating outside and not the soft middle inside.

I’ll discuss how different types of torment can be directed at these candy parts shortly, and what can be done that might be safe for the deeper stuff. So don’t worry all you fledgling Marquis de Sade and “O”s out there, that leaves plenty of room for use of the safe word, as we’ll soon see.

Author’s Note – Serious problems, ranging from fibroadenoma to breast cancer, are very real issues when it comes to playing fast and rough with breasts. Any damage to the inner workings of a breast places the woman at risk. Skin is made to take certain amount of abuse, and nipples and areola are made, within reason, for even more, particularly in a rug rat biting and sucking on them until they’re numb sort of way, but, you do not want to do anything that will bruise, cut, pierce or otherwise cause damage below skin level!

The Good Stuff

Now that we’ve covered the scientific part of our primer and given you all sorts of subliminal reasons to surf for one of the gazillions of articles on breast health out there, I’ll move on to the real reason you’re here – that being the types of tit torment and how to go about doing them. Keep in mind that this is an educational piece of literature. Please keep both of your hands on the keyboard.

When folks talk about torturing tits they likely have any number of goals in mind, usually depending upon whether you’re the tormentor or the tormentee. Sometimes those goals coincide, and sometimes they don’t. Provided everyone is in agreement that they’re getting something sexually, psychologically, or financially profitable out of the deal, common goals aren’t necessarily important.

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For the receiver – generally the person that is bound helplessly and has the breasts that are being physically assailed – one might be striving for the achievement of something referred to as “sub-space.” Sub-space is a state of consciousness that some women achieve whereby the pain caused by having torment inflicted on their tits, generally coupled with some type of pleasurable stimulation located between their legs, transforms into an even stronger form of pleasure.

Having never been a sub, and having been deprived of breasts well into the early stages of cell division, I can only take the words of those women that seek this transcendental state, and work to help get their endorphins into such a tizzy that taking to their breasts with a chain saw would result in an orgasm that rivals the eruption of Mount Vesuvius.

What are endorphins,” you ask. Well, endorphins are chemicals that come out in gangs and go square-dancing through some parts of your brain when other body parts are screaming “ouch!” For the sake of this primer, the “ouch” screamers would be a breast or nipple. Endorphins are rather like Henry Kissinger in his hey-day, basically convincing your brain that what the tormented body part really means is, “Please, sir, may I have another?”

In scientific terms, endorphins are small-chain peptides that activate opiate receptors, producing a feeling of well-being, tolerance to pain, and so on. According to the experts, these compounds are hundreds or even thousands of times more potent than morphine. For our purposes, endorphins can go beyond just the sensation of euphoria to feelings of “flying,” “floating,” “loss of will” and to “psychic connection” with the Master or dealer of torment that can last for hours, or supposedly days, after the event.

This condition of erotically altered consciousness is called “sub-space.”

Now, aside from this spiritual enlightenment, other women simply enjoy seeing their Master, husband, John, or boss enjoying him or herself and are willing to submit to whatever forms of torment their partner cares to lavish upon them, getting off on their partner’s fun pretty much the same way all of us get off on getting our partner off, assuming that is something we all do.

Most find themselves somewhere between these two states of being.

As for the giver – generally, the person doing notorious things to the breasts of the female person that’s tied up and helpless – the goal may be to launch his partner into sub-space while getting his or her rocks off by watching her boobs bounce like big super balls. It may be a powerful thing, where he or she gets a thrill from being in total control over his or her slave’s bod. Knowing that this pair of tits is the most precious commodity that he or she has been entrusted to abuse to the razor’s edge makes the tormentor’s life a spiritual high… or something like that.

Personally, I’ll leave the psychological reasoning for your enjoyment of such things to you and your counselor. I’m a visual guy myself and just like to see boobs bouncing and being contorted into pretzel-like shapes.

It's the simple things in life, you know…

Use of Sex Toy Not Safe While Driving

Have you seen the ad for the sex toy called Auto Suck? It goes like this:

“Enjoy your drive with the ideal mate! Plugs into any car or truck lighter for some hot roadway action. Make sure to keep one hand on the wheel and one eye on the road as the auto-suck makes that long commute or road trip much more bearable. *Warning: this unit may cause ejaculation. This may be difficult to explain to your insurance company. Use at your own risk!”.

Okay, I’m not a prude and I know everyone is entitled to good sex, I understand its our right and I’m all for it but please….Is it really safe or necessary to use one of these units while driving? I think not! Look at the distraction problems we already face on the roads every day. All the fancy billboards and roadside signs that flash or scroll. The idiots who just have to be on their cells phones while driving just to mention a few. Now, throw in a portable sex toy like the Auto Suck and I’m scared to death to be out on the road!

Seriously, and answer honestly, how many of you can keep your eyes open when you are having an orgasm? Come on, it’s like sneezing, you just can’t do it! So let’s give this toy to the male driver and hope for the best. Yeah, this is just what I want a guy to be doing while driving a huge 20,000 pound, 550 H/P, 13 speed/overdrive tractor trailer. Seat belts and air bags won’t mean anything if you collide with one. Can you imagine the lawsuit implications with one of these toys? The ad actually suggests using it while driving. How stupid are they?

In my opinion, your just asking for trouble if you use one of these while driving. If you want to wait until you get to a rest stop or someplace safe to pull off and then hook up with the Auto Suck, fine I’ve got no complaints. To each their own. I suppose used safely it could be considered an “ideal mate”. But I just don’t understand what the advertisers of this toy were thinking.

In 2004, there were over 6 million motor vehicle crashes in the United States (data for 2005 is not yet available). The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) reported a total of 38,253 fatal crashes. There were 42,636 fatalities in those crashes. Non-fatal crashes totalled a whopping 6,143,000 with over 2.7 million personal injuries reported. There was an additional 4.2 million crashes related to property damage.

Given these statistics and the numerous distractions that drivers face every-day I can only hope that if anyone purchases the Auto Suck toy, they have enough intelligence not use it while driving.

Resources:
2004 Annual Assessment of Motor Vehicle Crashes Release September 06,
2005
NHTSA’s National Center for Statistics & Analysis
http://www-nrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/pdf/nrd-30/NCSA/TSFAnn/TSF2004EE.pdf
EARLY EDITION 2004 Motor Vehicle Crash Data from FARS and GES
http://www-nrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/pdf/nrd-30/NCSA/PPT/2004AnnualAssessment.pdf

Your New Year Resolution: Make It Big And Strong

A growing number of men are turning to testosterone supplements to maintain energy levels as they age. Male enhancement supplements can be synthetic or herbal. It contains the perfect blend of potent ingredients to help increase the blood flow to the penis.

The recommended duration of taking the male enhancement supplements is a minimum of 3 months for maximum effectiveness. The Natural Male Enhancement supplements and formulated products give additional benefits because of the natural ingredients which are used, and these ingredients play a dual role in improving sexuality and virility. They share some of the same benefits of Viagra, but they are in a league of their own.

The popularity of these pharmaceuticals has spawned a whole new line of natural male enhancement products. Our male enhancement supplements are designed using a specific blend of herbal nutrients to provide optimal blood flow to the genital region. However, we know that penis pills, when combined with natural penis enhancement techniques, can significantly enhance your penis.

You will come across hundreds of websites offering information and even products that claim to help you to stay hard but do they really. And they are among the hottest-selling products in the $26 billion herbal supplement — or as the makers call them, nutraceutical — industry. In the meantime, men who have heart disease and are taking cardiac drugs should avoid these products.

Enhancement pills

Because our pills provides more blood flow to the penis, your penis ‘hangs’ larger all day. If you’re like most men, you’ve probably already tried one or many of the penis enlargement pills and patches on the market today. The ingredients in the Natural Gain Plus Enhancement pills are taken from nature, and these assure that you can increase the size, volume and thereby the much talked about sexual pleasure. Join thousands of satisfied customers and experience for yourself the proven benefits of Natural Gain Plus.

For a number of reasons, men can experience a decrease in natural blood flow during arousal that can lead to difficulties in getting and maintaining erections. Most men have complaints related to sexual satisfaction (a desire for longer-lasting erections or more stamina, for example) versus a physical dysfunction like premature ejaculation or the inability to get an erection and maintain it for his partner’s sexual pleasure. I used to not last very long and my erections were not very hard, but with this product, I last longer and please the woman I’m with (which increases my confidence). My erections are much, much harder and also much thicker.

Read More Latest Articles:

Natural Gain

Male enhancement supplements work to increase the amount of blood flow the genital region receives and the volume of blood that it can retain. Natural Gain Plus is the most powerful natural male enhancement pill available anywhere in the world. It is made from all natural products and the product site does not report any side effects from taking Natural Gain Plus.

Natural Gain Plus is specially formulated just for men and contains a special blend of nutrients that can stimulate circulation to the penis as well as balance the body’s natural hormones and relax the mind. Maca is considered by top researchers to be a true adaptogen. Maca is consumed as food for humans and livestock, suggesting any risk from consumption is rather minimal.

I asked Antonio if he used these plants himself. He smiled again. “Sometimes“. After all, I’ve been married to the same woman for 43 years.”

All The Single Littles: Enjoying Littlespace Alone

I responded to an inquiry not too long ago, sent by a concerned little who did not know how to be little without a caregiver.

They felt that their littlespace had become an invalid headspace for them to hold, and they weren’t very sure on how to express it or enjoy it without the presence of someone else.

Lots of aspects of CGL and DDLG can become a little harder or more absent without a caregiver, but the presence or lack of a relationship should never define your headspace.

Your space and the expression of it may be enhanced of enriched by the presence of a partner in your life (or alternatively stifled or deadened in a toxic situation), but it should still be something you can indulge in and love about yourself, even alone!

So, I thought it might be a good idea to write about how to maintain littlespace alone, what you can do alone to indulge in your littlespace, how you can police yourself in a way that a caregiver would outside of your littlespace, and give some tips on keeping the little fire of wonder and excitement  turning inside you, even without external motivation.

What Is Littlespace

For those of you just staring out in this wonderful world of littlespace, you may be wondering what littlespace is and a little lost in the sea of aesthetic Tumblr and Instagram pages, cute text posts, and onesies, without really knowing what makes you a little.

What Is Littlespace
What Is Littlespace

It is less about the pastels and the toys, or the diapers and onesies, and more about you and your submissive headspace.

What makes you think or feel that you are a little?

Do you connect with a more juvenile, younger mindset and exhibit behaviours that you associate with a younger age?

Do you engage in activities that you enjoyed as a child and bring you comfort now as an adult?

Do you feel a sense of wonder at the things around you and see the world through eyes that are more fanciful and carefree?

 

Then you just might be a little.

Littlespace is a headspace where you can experience all of these and more.

Where you can enjoy that sense of wonder and feel fulfilled and happy engaging in some of the simpler things.

It is a relief from stressful situations and everyday life.

A place your mind can go to take a break, to stop thinking, stop worrying, and open yourself up to the possibility of fun and fancy.

To most, this is what littlespace is to them, and how they experience it on a more cognitive and emotional level.

Of course, it goes without saying that your littlespace can be sexual or non-sexual.

Some find that there is something about the innocence of that headspace that urges them to keep it sex-free, and that is just as valid as others who find that their littlespace may be sexual, or go to a darker space with their ageplay.

All of these are valid.

Once you’ve found what littlespace is to you, it becomes much easier to guide yourself into feeling little, staying little, and doing it without the help of external forces.

What Makes You Feel Little

Now that you have a better understanding of your headspace, the next question to ask yourself is what sorts of things make you feel little.

What Makes You Feel Little
What Makes You Feel Little

Are there particular activities that help make you slip into the headspace?

This is where the more materialistic side of your headspace may come into play.

It is one thing to know deep down what you are and take solace in it, but being able to act it out and make it a part of your life, whether everyday or when you need it most, is also important.

Here are some of the more common activities that littles indulge in:

  • Watching your favourite cartoons and movies. Get involved like you might have when you were little.

    Do not hide your reactions, but instead interact with what you are watching.

    Lots of children’s cartoons will break the 4th wall to get people involved in the show and ask questions that are easy to answer.

    Participate in those.

    Or if you feel a favourite character is doing something wrong, tell them. We always know that they can’t hear us, but it is still fun, regardless, and will draw you deeper into the headspace.

    More of an anime person? That is okay tooWatch whatever makes you feel that sense of wonder and draws your focus well enough to keep it.

  • Eating snacks that are more childish, for example baby carrots, peanut  butter and jelly sandwiches, mac and cheese – basically easy-to-make comfort foods and snacks that make you think of being younger; little – this can help make you feel small and also makes sure that you are eating.  

    You can also do this with beverages – drink things that you associate with your littlespace.

    Strawberry milk, apple juice, orange juice, water, chocolate milk are some favourites.

    Lactose intolerant? Try the coconut, almond or soy versions available that won’t hurt your tummy.

    It might even help to drink these things from a bottle, sippy cup or with a straw depending on which you associate with your littlespace the most.

  • Playing with toys – whether they are toys you might have played with as an infant, toddler, child or even adult, playtime is important for all aspects of life, really, but especially for  littlespace.

    It allows you to focus your attention and energies into something that is fun and relatively stress-free.

     

    This could be legos, dolls, having a little tea party with stuffies, or even playing board games, card games and video games.

    These are all fun activities that you can do by yourself!.

  • Dressing the part can be helpful. If you really connect to onesies and you feel nice and small in them, then there is no reason why you should stay away from indulging yourself in this aspect of littlespace.

    A onesie could be perfect for getting you into the mood.

    If you are an ABDL as often there is a crossover (though they are too different headspaces and kinks), you may want to consider using diapers to make you feel little.

    There are also bloomers, pacifiers, cute rompers, bibs, skirts and dresses, long warm socks – it can be a fun adventure finding attire that helps you settle into your headspace.

    Not sure where to find little gear? You can check out the littlespace.life store or check our article on how to choose the perfect onesie and what shops to look for, found here .

  • Play with animals.Some littles really find that their littlespace shines when they get to be around animals.

    Play with animals.
    Play with animals.

    I would never suggest getting a pet if it is not something you have thought through seriously and thoroughly, and know you can handle the responsibility of.

    But if you are ready for a pet or already have a pet, chances are you feel comfortable and happy around them, and may even feel little because playing with something that has a smaller capacity for communication and verbal understanding can cause you to slip into a similar headspace where you think and communicate less, use smaller words, etc.

    If you do not have a pet and know that you cannot take care of one to the standard needed, trips to the zoo, even a small petting zoo, or a pet store to see the animals, might also be a way that animals are made available to you without the long term responsibility of keeping a pet.

  • Use little speak. For some littles, using little speak, though not technically a materialistic way of expressing yourself, can be useful as well.

    Use little speak.
    Use little speak.

    Using a less advanced vocabulary, or a voice that you associate with a younger version of yourself can help intensify your littlespace.

    And there is nothing wrong with playing make believe and speaking with your toys and stuffies in this way.

  • Coloring and other forms of artistic expression might be perfect for you if you are an artsy little.

    You might enjoy something simple, like children’s coloring books, or more intricate adult coloring books in your littlespace.

    You may even prefer something different – doodling, sketching, painting, sculpting – these are all valid ways of expressing yourself.

    You could fingerpaint yourself a landscape.

    You could cut out construction paper and make little figures to play with.

    You could use clay to mold figurines.

    With art, the sky really is the limit.

    And remember – there is no right or wrong with art.

    Some people have a natural affinity to it, some never develop talent.

    It isn’t about whether you can produce something that looks professional or not.

    It is about whether engaging in these activities makes you smile, feel little and feel good.

  • Listening to music is another activity you can do alone.

    Feel the urge to get up and dance around? Do it!

    Have fun with the music you enjoy – whether it is lullabies, nursery rhymes, or any other genre, find songs that make you feel little and make yourself a playlist that you can listen through.

    This is often fun to pair with other activities, like coloring or playing with toys.

    You could also search for other littles on YouTube who upload content and watch them.

    Sometimes seeing other littles in littlespace can inspire littlespace in you!

  • Reading. If you really love stories, you can get some children’s books, or young adult or even adult fiction that produces and fosters that sensation of wonder and glee.

  • If you don’t like reading in your littlespace, there are plenty of audio books you can purchase and it will feel as though you have someone else reading to you.

    Or, if you are looking for something free, check out YouTube and search for readings of books or stories you connect with.

    Whatever activities you choose, just remember to be yourself.

    Enjoy them.

    If you find you’re pushing yourself too hard to feel little, then take a step back and maybe try to figure out what is causing the block.

    While littlespace can be a great help when under a lot of stress, it can also run and hide when things become too stressful or there are just too many things on your plate.

    Being little is not a replacement or excuse to not be responsible for yourself and your life.

    In fact, some might feel guilt when wanting to indulge in their special headspace when they have important things to tend to.

    While you should never feel bad about needing a break for your mental health, if all you are doing is worrying while you are trying to chase that comfort zone, it won’t be effective.

    Your best bet is to try to adult and slowly get some of those responsibilities out of the away and then try for littlespace again. You might find it come to you more easily.

     

How To Be Your Own Caregiver

One of the things single littles miss or long for is having the structure and permission to do things that a caregiver can bring to your submissive space and to their life, overall.

How To Be Your Own Caregiver
How To Be Your Own Caregiver

A good caregiver will help you find the balance between being an adult and being little.

They will want to see you succeed in all things, including your submissive headspace, and they will want to provide you with guidance, care, affection.

These are the core traits of a dominant and caregiver.

However, you do not necessarily need someone to be able to do this for you.

If you have a lot of Tasks you need to complete daily, you can create a chart for yourself and reward yourself with stickers everytime that you complete each task.

This gives you a way to keep organized by yourself, it allows you to take responsibility into your own hands,  it also adds an element of achievement and pride, things that are often desirable to littles.

You can also reward yourself for your hard work at the end of the week, biweekly, or monthly, with something that you might enjoy in your littlespace.

On a sexual level, you could make masturbation a reward for a job well done, or a certain kind of play you enjoy indulging in but don’t always have the time to explore. Set some time aside for it and indulge as a treat to yourself.

Buy new toys (sexual or otherwise) as larger rewards for harder tasks.

And always remember that there may be days where you just can’t, and the best you can do is wake up, drink water, and eat toast.

You are trying, and you are still every bit as valid as on the days when you can do more things.

Remember, even daddies and mommies aren’t on 100% of the time.

Social Interactions

All this having been said, it certainly cannot be denied that humans are, more often than not, social creatures.

We long to feel as though we belong to a group, welcome amongst peers with whom we share commonalities.

via GIPHY

For some, this is less a want and more a need, and this is every bit as valid as preferring to be and feeling comfortable being alone.

Some feel they are the most connected to their headspaces when they can share it with others.

If you are one such person, there are many ways that you can interact with others who share similar desires, wants and interests.

Caregivers

If you are ready for a romantic relationship and want to find someone who can enjoy you being in littlespace as much as you do, you can search for someone to make a connection with.

Always make sure that you vet your prospective partner, especially if you plan on forming a power exchange dynamic with them and would like to have them eventually take on a caregiver role within your relationship.

Caregivers
Caregivers

You can use FetLife and the new and growing KinkHub to get more involved in your local community, attend events (munches and dungeon events), meet new people, expand your social network and perhaps meet someone through this avenue.

You can also try your hand at online dating sites that cater to more kinky individuals.

The best advice I can give when looking for a partner online is to take your time.

It may feel good at first, and you may want to rush into things, but always remember it is important to get to know someone and see if you really are compatible and you are both capable of giving the other what you both seek from a partner.

Be open and honest with your communication, and never shy away from piping up about what you are looking for and what will make you happiest.

Babysitters and “Siblings”

Not ready for something romantic and just looking for a more casual or platonic relationship?

Perhaps finding yourself a babysitter is just what you need.

Think of it as caregiver light.

Babysitters
Babysitters

They will check in on you, be someone you can talk to when you are having a rough time, ir just to chat about what’s going on in your life, and even hold a more dominant role in your life.  

However, at the end of the day, they are not someone who is expected to take on full responsibility for you.

They are not necessarily always available, and usually not to the extent and depth of a full-time caregiver.

They can be a platonic friend who makes sure you are getting things done, and may also spend time engaging with you while you are in your littlespace.

What do they get out of it?

They would likely be the type of person who wants to help make a difference in a submissive’s life but may not have a lot of time on their hands to be a full caregiver to a little.

They could also be a switch who finds that they have moments where they are more dominant and need to have that side of themselves expressed.

Whatever the case may be, you can find them in the same way you might find a caregiver, or if you do not mind something long distance and online, you can find them through other forms of social media where you would normally find others interacting in kink – like Instagram, Twitter, Kinkhub and various BDSM chat rooms.

Of course, as always, be careful about interacting with people online.

Never give out personal information that you wouldn’t normally give out to a stranger, and take your time getting to know them to see if they might be a good fit.

The same would go for a sibling, which is often a dynamic that you have with another little who may be older or younger than you (with their real age or their little age).

This may or may not include a sexual element.

It is less of a caregiver and more someone you can be little with.

If they are more inclined to be dominant towards you, then they could take on a topping role with you as the bottom, and function similar to a babysitter, but often will get into a bit of trouble with you.

Again, they do not usually carry the same level of responsibility and involvement as a caregiver would.

Little Friends

Sometimes a caregiver is not the answer and you are just looking for someone else to be little with.

Little Friends
Little Friends

Maybe you are the type of little who is fully capable of being responsible outside of littlespace, one who does not need the extra motivation and support that a power dynamic can provide, but instead just longs for platonic companionship.

Having other little friends, whether in person or online, can fill that desire as well.

Having a hard time finding little friends to play with?

You can use the same places mentioned before in order to find others that enjoy your kink.

There are personals on Reddit as well if you are looking for someone in your area or online.

You can also try FetLife, which would be safer.

Check for any little meetups in your area, or munches that you can attend in the overall BDSM community where you live.

You might be able to find other littles or submissives when you attend these munches.

If  you are not opposed to online interaction and online friendships, then of course you can use Twitter and Instagram which have some developed kink communities.

I will warn that Instagram has been making it harder for kinksters to express themselves on their platform, but the community is still there, accessible, and full of kind, welcoming littles.

Sex Workers and Content Creators

Many people do not think about sex workers (SW) as companions, but they certainly can be.

Sex workers can be hired for sexual or non-sexual interactions, online or in person.

Sex Workers
Sex Workers

This is a route many people can and do go.

Perhaps you just want some daddy or mommy content with pictures, voice recordings, online texting or sexting.

Many sex workers will allow you to choose your custom content and are happy to help you achieve what you’re looking for if it is within the services that they provide.

There is still a strong stigma attached to this line of work, and seeking out practitioners, however there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

Just be sure to vet your service providers, and remember etiquette.

Never attempt to force a sex worker to do something outside of their limits.

Never asks for free content.

Be respectful and clear about what you want.

Do not haggle – if you cannot afford the services you are looking for, then try with someone else.

You can find people who cam on cam sites like Chaturbate.

You can request custom videos on ManyVids from a content creator of your choice.

You can get phone sex or phone conversations using NiteFlirt.

You can even search through Reddit to see what is available from that side of the internet.

If you have the income and want the companionship, catered to your needs, this is an option you can explore.

Of course, be mindful of your local laws and be careful about keeping your and your sex worker’s information private to keep you both safe.

Conclusion

Whether you have a caregiver, sibling, babysitter, little friends or not  your littlespace is valid.

It is a state that you can exist in without external input.

However, if you find it too hard to maintain on your own through various activities and expressions, there are ways to find others to enjoy your littlespace with!

Do not give up on a part of yourself if you still feel it is a part of you that you want to engage in.

But also remember, alternatively, if something no longer serves your purpose, it is okay to stop engaging with it altogether.

Littlespace is a wonderful headspace and I hole you find ways to enjoy it, however you choose is best for you!

Spring Has Sprung! 15 Fun Spring Activities for Littles

For those of us in the northern hemisphere, it is finally time for spring!

That means trading winter boots for rain boots, heavy hoods for umbrellas, and pants for bare legs!

The sun starts to rise earlier and set later, meaning more daytime to enjoy and find ways to have fun in littlespace, and more outings!

What better way to kick off the new season than with a list of 15 great activities to usher in April showers and May flowers?


1.  Easter Egg Hunt

This is a great activity to do alone, with friends, or with a partner.

You can attend an Easter egg Hunt in your city, or if you are brave and have the means, you could even organize one for you and your other little friends!

If you have a caregiver, are a little shy and would prefer to spend that time at home, then your caregiver could arrange a hunt for you instead!

For whoever is organizing, dont forget to include lots of chocolate eggs, chocolate bunnies, and jelly beans!

You can even hide trinkets inside little plastic eggs if you’d like alternative options to just candy.

And of course, don’t forget that one special item hidden extra well for one lucky little to find!
Perhaps it could be a pacifier you’ve had custom made for the occasion, a stuffie, board game or puzzle!

Whatever you or your caregiver chooses, I am sure it will put a smile on your or another little’s face!


2.  Afternoon Tea

Care for a spot of tea?

This is something you can do alone, with your caregiver, or with some little friends!

Alone, you can gather up your stuffie army and your finest China (or plastic play tea set if you’d rather make believe), dress up in your finest little garb and gossip with your teddies and unicorns over who is the best dressed!

This is something you can do alone, with your caregiver, or with some little friends!

Alone, you can gather up your stuffie army and your finest China (or plastic play tea set if you’d rather make believe), dress up in your finest little garb and gossip with your teddies and unicorns over who is the best dressed!

Don’t forget to include tea and your favourite snacks!

With friends or a caregiver, you can organize a gathering in your home or out for an actual sitting of afternoon tea!

There is bound to be a place that offers tea service nearby.

If you are having trouble, check with some more prestigious hotels and quaint tea shops in your area.

Make sure you check with the attendants for any food allergies or special dietary needs so everyone can enjoy the lovely time out!


3.  Air Balloon Ride

If you aren’t too afraid of heights, schedule a little air time for you and a friend!
Enjoy the exhilarating adventure of the being high up in the sky!

Play some rounds of “I Spy” and point out places that you know.

Marvel at how everyone looks like little ants, and just be awed by the beautiful scenery.
Enjoy the wonder that littlespace and a magical balloon ride can bring!

If you are bored with your city and feel you have seen everything it has to offer, sometimes all it takes is a new perspective to rekindle that love!

Up, up and away!


4.  Video Game Arcade

A great activity to enjoy alone or with friends, a trip to the arcade could be just what the Spring ordered.

Bright lights, 8 bit music, and a nostalgic trip into the past, the arcade is perfect for reminiscing about easier times and to lose a few hours being carefree just playing video games!

I have found memories myself of spending hours and hours in arcades as a child and as an adult, smashing out combos and squealing gleefully when victorious.

Check your local arcades and see if they have any special gaming nights.

Some arcades offer one night a week where you can pay for entry and get to play all the games you want for the night.

That way it is a little more cost effective.

But if you prefer to go when it is less populated, then you can always stop by during the day or a quiet evening and enjoy some pinball games, shoot some zombies, win a race or compete in an ultimate fighting tournament!

The arcade is your oyster!


5.  Mini Putting / Bowling

If you enjoy something that mixes a bit of fun with some physical activity, then perhaps you’d enjoy a game of mini putt or a few games of bowling, both great activities to do alone or with a group!

If you have a large group, though, you may want to see if you can book ahead and maybe even get a party room so you can indulge in some pizza and popcorn after you’ve played some rounds with your friends!

Mini Putting / Bowling

Oftentimes both bowling alleys and mini putt venues have special nights where they have music, turn the lights down low and turn the black lights on for a glow in the dark experience.

If you and everyone else you may invite have no issues with flashing lights, this may be a great idea to take advantage of!


6.  Festivals

Spring and summer are the seasons for festivals!

Whether they are music festivals, like a jazz or blues fest, visual arts festivals with unique installments all around your city, a festival to celebrate nature and the beautiful budding flowers planted around town, or even a theater festival with Shakespearean plays, there is something for everyone!

Festivals

Again, this is another activity you can enjoy alone or with a caregiver and friends.
Search online and see what is coming up close by.

Or if there is something in a couple cities over, make a weekend trip of it, if you can, and book an Airbnb or stay at a friend’s to save money on accommodations!


7.  Teddy Bear Picnic / Regular Picnic

Spring’s the time the teddy bears have their picnic!

This is best with at least one other person or a small group of friends.

If you have a backyard you can have it there, or if you want to make it fancy and can get everyone to pitch in to rent a gazebo on private property, you can dress in your public appropriate littlespace gear and everyone can bring along one of their teddy bears for a picnic.

Teddy Bear Picnic

You could even find a spot at a local park, sk long as you aren’t serving any adult drinks

You can make it like a potluck where everyone brings a dish that can be shared, get out some paper plates and plastic cups and enjoy a little picnic in the grass, under the sun.

If you want something more organized and fancy, and everyone is willing to chip in for the costs, you could even have a catered event.

Whichever route you choose, it promises to be a great time and a chance for you to get to know other littles in your area.

You may not even have to throw it yourself!

Check out FetLife and see if someone else has planned a teddy bear picnic, or suggest it as an idea on an events board and see if others might be interested in hosting or helping out.

It is a great way to get more involved with your community.

Think of it as an extra special littlespace munch!


8.  Flower Picking

As the saying goes, April showers bring forth May flowers, and you can take advantage of this by bringing along a little basket and picking some of your favourite blooms!
Some things to keep in mind:

  • be mindful of whether you are on public or private property and ensure you aren’t trespassing;
  • do not pick flowers that are illegal to pick (like state, provincial or national flowers);
  • make sure if you are picking wild flowers that you are not interacting with anything poisonous, like poison ivy;
  • be careful of thorny plants and weeds; bring along a book of common flowers and weeds in your area so you can identify them more easily.
Flower Picking

If you have a pollen allergy but still enjoy nature, you might be able to visit a butterfly habitat which might be less direct interaction with plants and pollen.

Another alternative might be to go berry picking instead if you do not have an allergy to those!

You can even use the berries you pick to make your own jam for PB&J sandwiches!


9.  Paddle Boating

If you are near water and have a marina in your area, you might be able to rent a small boat or one of those adorable swan or duck paddle boats.

This is an activity that is best with at least one other person as you can paddle in pairs!

A great way to get some exercise and enjoy the outdoors, you can paddle to a quiet location and eat some snacks, read a book, or just shoot the breeze with your companion.

Paddle Boating

If you pull up on the shoreline somewhere, make sure you bring the paddle far enough away from the water so it doesn’t float away and leave you abandoned!

Be sure to bring lots of water, especially in a hot day!

All that exercise and sun can leave you dehydrated, so make sure you are smart and prepared.


10.  Go For A Walk

Absolutely free and a calming activity to do alone or with a friend.
Taking a walk down the shore of a local beach or on a wooded trail or path can be a great idea.

If you are a little afraid and cannot go with a friend, make sure you bring your phone and a whistle to be safe and keep your mind at ease.

Enjoy some fresh air and light exercise, and let your mind wander.

Bring some snacks and water along to keep your energy up.

If you are an artsy baby, bring some art supplies with you and draw something that catches your eye.

Or if you prefer, you can take this as a time to be alone with your thoughts, too.


11.  Art Outside

This is one of my own favourite past times from when I was younger.

I would gather up a small group of friends and we would go to a local park with our art supplies and draw and paint our own little art, or bring along coloring books and color.

Art Outside

This is something you can do in public and still feel little without anyone raising an inquisitive eyebrow.


12.  Amusement Parks

Whether it is a Six Flags, Disney Land, Canada’s Wonderland, La Ronde, the CNE or just a small circus or carnival with a few rides and attractions that has set up in your city, this can be a great place to have fun.

You can enjoy some rides, eat popcorn and cotton candy, and play carnival games to win stuffies.

Amusement Parks

Another great activity to do alone or with friends, carnivals and amusement parks seem to be timeless places where you can spend hours having fun and not even notice that time is flying by.

Try a scary ride you’ve never tried before, or keep it tame and stick to the ones you know and love.

Get on a carousel and ride a pretty golden horse, pop balloons with darts, eat a funnel cake, check out the circus attractions if you aren’t afraid of clowns.

There is so much to do and see!


13.  Local Markets

Farmers’ markets finally open up after a long winter!

Antique markets have outdoor events where you can pick up some cute tea cups and old stuffies.

Local Markets

Bazaars bring unique crafts and wares from around the world.
You will also find lots of places with sidewalk sales in close by cities!

Take advantage of the nice weather and browse the market stalls to see if you can find something that makes you smile!

I tend to enjoy the farmers’ markets and love picking up wildflower honey, maple syrup and fresh fruits.

I also always find unique little jewellery and crafts and might even get a little henna tattoo!
See what your local markets have to offer and have a great time doing it!


14.  Play Dress Up

A simple thing you can do indoors or in an enclosed private space.

Tired of waiting for Halloween to be a superhero, villain, princess, prince, robot, police officer, kitty cat, bunny or any other creature or human you like?

Play Dress Up

Then why wait!

If you have some friends you can invite, throw a dress up or costume party, or check out FetLife again if you do not feel like organizing it yourself but want to see if others are interested in participating and hosting.

Or you can do this alone in your own home and play with your favourite toys!

Playing dress up and make believe is a great way to escape into another time and place and

let all your worries and cares fall away from you.
Give it a try!


15.  Volunteer At An Animal Shelter or Sanctuary

If you are a little who has the time and energy to give back to the community and be an altruistic baby, then this may be an activity you enjoy!

If you love animals and aren’t allergic to them, see about volunteering at a local animal shelter or sanctuary.

It will give you a feeling of purpose and put a smile on your face that you are able to help out your community and give love and care to some animals in need.

If you aren’t someone who is very attuned with animals, or can’t stop sneezing around them, you can also see about volunteering at a homeless shelter or food shelter to lend a helping hand preparing meals or giving out canned goods to those in need.

I hope that this list has helped you see all the things you can enjoy without even having to travel to far!

If you are a little on a budget, there are some great ideas that are cheap or free, and if you have a little bit of coin to spend, some more ideas that you can enjoy. Whatever you choose, get out there and try to enjoy the changing weather with some activities that will make you feel young at heart.

Ways To Cope in a Long Distance DDLG Relationship

In this era, we can do just about anything from the comfort of our own homes.

We can order pizzas, watch new movies, buy clothes – and we can find people.

Online dating has been growing and continues to grow as a viable way for people to find others that they can interact with and form meaningful, lasting relationships with without necessarily being in the same city.

Or even the same hemisphere.

Long distance relationships (or LDRs, for short) can be very rewarding yet are often very difficult relationships to maintain.

Distance can make the heart grow fonder, but it can also place a wedge between those involved.  

However, all hope isn’t lost! There are plenty of activities you and your significant other can do together, even when you are far apart, that can help to build a lasting bond! Here are some ways to keep in contact and keep your dynamic going, even when you can’t be together, physically.

Voice and Video Calls

There are plenty of apps you can use on your computer or on your phone to keep in touch.  

With Skype, WhatsApp, Google Hangouts and Discord (my preferred method) at the forefront of online communications, you can use these apps to engage in voice or video calls.

Sometimes just being able to see your loved one or hear their voice can keep those sad feelings at bay.

voice & video call
voice & video call

If either one of you, or both of you, have busy schedules, a good way to work around time constraints is to set up a specific time every week as a routine and anything else is just extra time that you manage to make for each other.

That way there is less chance of disappointment.


Watch Things Together

Using Discord or rabb.it, you can stream or screen share Netflix, YouTube, Crunchyroll, or even just something you’ve downloaded… just about anything you can watch online – and be able to voice chat at the same time!

Watch Things Together
Watch Things Together

That way it is as if you are watching it together.

No more of the infernal countdown and lag that leaves one partner ahead of the other with constant pausing and catching up!


Assignments and Tasks

Assigning tasks can be helpful to ensure that the Dominant is able to be in that role of caregiver and guide.

It can also ensure that the submissive takes care of the things they need to do on a daily basis.

Assignments and Tasks
Assignments and Tasks

Having a way to reward with positive reinforcement can help to solidify this.

Work together to come up with a schedule that will make the Dom feel like they are making a difference and the sub feel like their Dom has a hand in their life.

Using an online chart is especially helpful if you are too busy to voice chat or video chat daily!


Long Distance Sex Toys

If you miss sexual intimacy with your significant other, phone sex, video sex and mutual masturbation are all very useful in a LDR.

If you both enjoy impact play, the Dom or sub could purchase a paddle or flogger so that the Dom can give instructions that the submissive will follow while in a voice or video call, or while making video or sound clips.

Pink Heart Flogger – $19.99 incl. shipping from Littlespace.life

Shibari more your thing? Purchase rope. Spend some time watching tutorials and working on simple ties together on cam.

10 m Cotton Shibari Rope – $15.95 with free shipping from Littlespace.life

If you both enjoy sex toys with a control factor, there are wonderful distance sex toys that you can both use that sync up to an app through your wifi. My personal favourite is the Lovense line of toys. Powerful and very interactive, they work especially well if you have a bit of an exhibitionist streak and like to be teased or tease your significant other discreetly in public.


Visits

This may not be something that everyone has the chance to do as travel can be expensive, depending on where you need to go.

If you are within the same country or continent, it is a much more viable option.

Try seeing if there are cheaper means of transport, like a charter bus or a train system that can get you from point A to point B, or to a place you can both meet up in the middle.

If you’re going to need a plane to get to your loved one, try to work on saving the money up for a trip.

It could be a short visit for the first time, and then build up to longer visits over time. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it and really put in the effort and hard work!


Care Packages

This is something that can be super sweet and a nice surprise for your partner.

Over time, gather some awesome little items for a care package.

It should include some things that are local to you that your partner may not be able to get where they are from, and of course, things that you know they are interested in, enjoy, and do not have.

If your partner is far away, make sure not to make the package too heavy unless you are okay with and capable of paying larger shipping costs.

If you can’t really afford to buy lots of things, you can always make items for your significant other, or just write them a letter telling them how much you appreciate their presence in your life and shower them with handwritten love and affection.

Being apart doesn’t have to mean growing apart.

A simple text message in the morning and before bed can be enough to let your other half know you are there for them and thinking about them during your busy day.

So try not to focus on the distance  because there are plenty of ways to grow together.

Size Matters – More to Men

Sigmund Freud, the father of Psychiatry, said that men had a sexual thought consciously or subconsciously every 3 seconds. He timed it like a racehorse when he wasn’t busy having sexual relations with his mother. Psychiatrists go to school for 22 years, subject themselves to years of Psychotherapy, then sit while you ramble and beg for advice for 45 minutes, only to say at the end, “What do you think? I’m afraid our time is up for this week.” You could go insane merely from their torture tactics.

Obviously penis size matters to a woman. Penises range in size from 1’ to 14” on men. The longer and wider and harder the penis, the more friction is created, the deeper the penetration, and the more likely the woman is to achieve vaginal orgasm. However other things are more important to a woman, such as extended foreplay, clitoral stimulation to orgasm, g spot stimulation to orgasm, and length of time after intercourse before the man hails a cab, generally anywhere from 5 to 7 minutes on average.

Size definitely matters to women, but it matters far more to men. Penis envy is not a female phenomenon despite the ravings of the incestuous Dr. Freud. Penis envy is a male phenomenon. Envying the length and width of the black penis is at the root of the Klu Klux Klan, says Mariah Carey. According to research done at Heidelberg University, it is a scientific fact that the purchases of Corvettes and BMW’s are inversely proportional to the length of a man’s penis. Men think that if they have an expensive fancy car then women will think that they are financially successful and will date them, leading other men to think that they are stacked.

The basic theme of any male Rap song and video is always the same. “I am the coolest most hung baddest dude in town and I can ride you all night long.” This is always backed up by half naked stunning harem women slithering around the artist. The lack of a white boxing champion for the past 75 years since Rocky Marciano, has led white men to flock to seven sequels of the Rocky movie. Rocky is now coming out of retirement, the “Italian Stallion”, for a rematch against Kanye West, who has been paid 5 million dollars to take a dive in the fifth, to soothe the wounded egos of male White America, and that’s what it’s all about anyway, “Ego”.

The Ego is the part of the brain
EGO

The Ego is the part of the brain that either says in your mind, “I am wonderful”, or “I am garbage.” The “Id” is the part of your brain that says “I want food, water, sex etc.” The Ego is what causes men to desire multiple partners endlessly through cyber dating, because once a woman gives in, no matter how beautiful she is, no matter how loving and caring, she has now lost the ability to give to the man the thing he wants most to boost his Ego, that initial conquest, that triggers in the man’s mind, “I am great, I conquered her.” Men need this to compensate for wounded Egos received at the hands of their insecure fathers, because criticism and control make the father feel great, to compensate for their own reality, unfulfilled wives due to their tiny narrow limp phallus. This is the root cause of the male mid life crisis, leading to divorce and insecure offspring because the male now needs a young wife the same way that he needs a Corvette. Have you ever noticed the shape of a Corvette?

This would all be bad enough but size issues are at the root of male competitiveness in both sports and war. Kim Jong Il, the mini me leader of North Korea has a stable of gorgeous young blonde American women, to make up for his tiny thang. “That’s all you got, baby?” Those words led to the swift execution of a one hit wonder American Diva who was all into the Grace Kelly thing. This would be bad enough, but the development of nuclear weapons and the verbal bravado of this midget against the United States is directly linked to the madman midget’s size insecurity. Ironically midgets are generally very well endowed in proportion to their body size, and this is why they have such confidence. A well known self confidence building mantra used extensively by the Moonies, is “My rooster is huge and hard, and I can ride you all night long.” The problem has become so bad, that erectile dysfunction has become the third leading growth industry worldwide, and men are running for medication named after the enormous gushing of the massive powerful power generating Niagara Falls, even knowing that it causes a rare but pervasive form of blindness.


Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart has a solution for this insecurity problem which is now leading us all into the Apocalypse, the sudden violent end of all life on Earth forever. The Christian people are eagerly constructing and waiting for the Apocalypse, so that when it comes, after about 30 seconds, they can all say as One, “Look, we were right!” This need to be right, and this unbearable pain of being wrong, is a direct result of penis insecurity. Martha’s solution is that all men be forced to wear their bag and their bone on their foreheads, for all to see, to instantly put an end to all the b/s and bluffing leading us all into the nuclear inferno. Oprah seconds the motion. She has the most to lose, according to Dr. Phil, the bald barking know it all with the 3 inch penis. Our modern Dr. Freud wears a sock folded in his pants to hide his shortcomings. Maybe an international naked at work day is the answer for saving life on earth. Maybe the Apocalypse won’t be that bad. At least it will put an end to the zillions of Erectile Dysfunction (medications for 1 inch shriveled up things that refuse to stand up no matter how much kiddy porn the man watches) emails in our email boxes. How do these snake oil salesmen get our addresses anyways? Why aren’t they all blind yet? The insecurity disease has now spread to women rushing for breast implants, and to the male obsession with increasing their Google Page Ranking. Have you ever noticed the graphic that Sergey Brin and Larry Page use to display that ranking? They didn’t become zillionaires at 32 by being oblivious to the male fixation with size now, did they?

How To Have A Healthy Love Life

A lot of people say they’d like to have a healthy love life, but it all boils down to the question, “Are you willing to work for it?”

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First thing to do is to get physical.

When most people would choose a twinkle over an apple, you’ll have to be the one who has the wisdom and willpower to choose the apple. In a world increasingly addicted to TV, you and your mate will have to come up with the willpower to go out on a nature walk or bicycle ride.

Why?

Because you can’t have a healthy love life unless you treat your body with the kind of love and respect that we’re discussing. We’re not talking about a six-week diet, we’re considering a life-long program of better nutrition. We are not advocating a three-month exercise program here to take off two inches from the waist; we’re pushing for regular exercise every day of our lives!

A good way to kick-start is with some cardiovascular exercises. The Harvard School of Public Health reports that men who were physically inactive were 40 percent more likely to experience erectile dysfunction than men who exercised a half hour a day.

A foundation of correct nutrition and regular exercise is necessary before we can begin to think about a healthy love life.

Eat to live and love.

Most of us do not realize how foods affect our moods, feelings, energy level, and behavior.
When we get down in the dumps, we don’t automatically say, “Gosh, I must not have been eating right.”

Eat to live and love.

Eat to live and love.

On the other hand, when we’re feeling on top of the world we don’t stop to think, “I’d like to feel this good more often.” We don’t relate how we feel to what we’ve been eating, but foods, vitamins, and minerals can make all the difference in the world between a so-so love life and the kind of love life that makes you smile every time you think about it.

Many people who think they have sex problems are actually victims of poor nutrition. They don’t have sex problems. They have food problems. And food problems can be solved.

  • Cut out or cut down on the use of alcohol, cigarettes, and coffee.
  • Avoid sugary foods and drinks and fried, fatty foods. Sugar interferes with the sex life and reduces its pleasure.
  • Cut back on milk and wheat products.
  • De-stress and relax. The physical effects of long-term stress include colds, ulcers, asthma, heart attack, stroke, and chronic fatigue–all ailments that can erode your health and your love life.

Couples can de-stress together at the end of the day in more romantic ways, such as enjoying a lathery bubble bath for two, complete with scented candles, and a mug of warm milk and honey. Or just watch a movie together. The goals are to spend quality time together and put you on the path to total relaxation. It all takes effort to improve your love life–there is no substitute for balanced foods, no shortcut to good health but if you work at it, you can achieve a healthy love life.

How To Get Laid

So how to actually get laid? Getting laid can be easy and difficult at the same time. It is easy for some and not too easy for some. Why? Well for simple reasons that some men become a master at the art of getting laid and know how to sweet talk a woman in to bed. So what does it actually take to get laid? Read on to discover some of the most shocking facts on how to get laid and achieve mind blowing results.

You don’t want it- The best way to getting laid is to pretend as if you don’t want to get laid. Yes this is the big secret right in front of your eyes. What’s a woman’s worst fear? Well a date with a guy who is a pervert. Yes that’s what women normally fear. They don’t want men who want sex rather they are in the lookout for men who want romance. Do not talk about sex at all and you would automatically see the woman you are dating spark that topic herself.

How to get laid

Get her comfortable– Another reason why most men never get laid is that they tend to initiate the sex conversation too early even before a woman feels completely comfortable in their company. Remember the very first thing you need to do in order to get laid to break all the mental walls that women form as a shield against perverted men. You need to get her to open up more to you and make her feel comfortable in your company. Women would only get into bed with you when they feel comfortable around you. No woman ever gets into bed with a guy whom they fear.

Tweet: Get her comfortable- Another reason why most men never get laid is that they tend to initiate the sex conversation too early even before a woman feels completely comfortable in their company. Remember the very first thing you need to do in order to get laid to break all the mental walls that women form as a shield against perverted men. You need to get her to open up more to you and make her feel
Let her touch you

Let her touch you– Do not touch her unless she is ready to be touched. It’s as simple as that. You don’t want to do something she does not want you to do as that would completely spoil your chances of getting laid. If she does not make the first move than she would give you a very strong signal that she wants you to make the move.

What you don’t know yet– Ever tried to wonder what’s in a woman’s mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don’t want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most “Shocking Secrets” women don’t want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don’t want men to know

Some Important Facts about Vibrators

Vibrator is as an electrical and mainly battery operated device. There’re also all-mains vibrators. Their main quality is vibration. When placed against some erogenous zone it causes intensive and very pleasant sensations. Majority of people fancy vibrator as a penis-shaped object, yet such an opinion erroneous, since there’re vibrators of various shapes and sizes and, as a rule, they aren’t meant for penetration. Upon usage the tip of vibrator is placed against highly sensitive erogenous zone. Vibrators can be purchased at drugstores, sex shops and female underwear shops.

Tweet: Vibrator is as an electrical and mainly battery operated device. There’re also all-mains vibrators. Their main quality is vibration. When placed against some erogenous zone it causes intensive and very pleasant sensations. Majority of people fancy vibrator as a penis-shaped object, yet such an opinion erroneous, since there’re vibrators of various shapes and sizes and, as a rule, they aren’t

Vibrator is the right instrument to break female self-conceit and assurance in that she can control her emotions in any situation. Sexual stimulation with the help of vibrator is so intense that it’s almost impossible to resist it. Vibrator can bring a woman to orgasm in case she had never experienced it before. Having once experienced strong effect of vibrator henceforth a woman will get many opportunities to achieve orgasm independently or with a partner.

Woman for self-stimulation
Woman for self-stimulation

Thus, vibrator can be used by a woman for self-stimulation. Sometimes her partner can use vibrator to stimulate female erogenous zones upon her desires. Vibrator can also be used for male sexual stimulation, yet vibrating effect on males is less effective than on females. At the same time men also have erogenous zones that can react violently to vibration. They’re located on the back of penis and in the area between scrotum and anus.
It’s recommended to be fastidious while choosing vibrator. You’d better buy a vibrator produced by some well-known company. Your vibrator should always be clean. For example, if you use your vibrator in anal region, then, before moving it to your vagina or any other place, wash the vibrator thoroughly. Remember that if you use your vibrator for sexual stimulation of genitals of both partners, it can become a source of sexually transmitted infectious diseases.

How to use vibrator
How to use vibrator

And another warning: vibrator gives us huge possibilities; nevertheless its influence can become really tyrannical. In other words long and intensive vibrator usage may lead to dependence and any other ways of sexual stimulation will become ineffective. As a result it would be very difficult for your partner to stimulate you. That’s why if you’re going to lead healthy and versatile sexual life with your present or future partner, don’t be much carried away with vibrators in order to keep the ability to orgasm with other means of sexual stimulation.