Ultimate Guide To Bondage Rope [UPDATED 2019]

Get Tied Up

Starting with ropes

You might have seen these amazing Japanese knots –  or it just that your boyfriend’s allergic to metal, and you have to use hump ropes to tie him down?

Following years of experience as a rope master in Wisconsin’s BDSM scene, I’m here to share some of my wisdom, and help you with your first BDSM rope ties.

What kind of rope do you need?

In general, good quality rope can be costly – but this is one of those things where you don’t want to go cheap.

Looking around at your local hardware store, you will find that there are some sturdy options that won’t break the bank.

First, start off with a little rather than a lot.

It’s better to have to reorder more rope because you like it than to be stuck with a bunch of rope you don’t want to use.

Most beginners don’t know if rope is something they’ll like, so they go to the hardware store and buy a pack or two of cotton or nylon rope.

This rope is good for a beginner, but long term a rigger will want to upgrade their kit.

For one, it has no grip, so many of the twists and turns that are made while tying slip and move around.

This rope holds knots well –  but a little too well.

Cotton and nylon tend to compress and the knots tighten rather than allowing the rigger (ie. the person tying the ropes) to put the correct tension on.

The best place to buy rope is from a vendor on the web. The important thing is to find one with a good reputation that people recommend.

I like to have rope in both 6mm and 8mm thickness.

It just depends on what ties you use or who your subject is.

Different Ropes For Different Folks

I think 6mm looks less than ideal in most ties – but a lot of people on Fetlife use it for pretty photos when tying very small rope bottoms.

Make sure you have various lengths on hand too (just make sure you know it… you never cut a rope unless it is an emergency situation).

I don’t really like joining two sections and rope that is too long can be cumbersome.

Too short and you can’t complete the tie or will have to join rope.

The perfect lengths also depend on the rope bottom as well.

Obviously bigger bottoms will require longer ropes.

Choosing rope is a very personal decision so it’s important that you think about your needs and wants and choose appropriately as your rope will become the tool of your trade.

Once you’ve found the rope you want to use you will be anxious to wrap it around someone.

But first you need to become familiar with the rope and how to use it safely (next writing on this) and effectively. But right now we will focus on becoming familiar with the history.

Lets geek out on some history

Most rope bondage done in kink today is Japanese in origin. You might have heard the terms Shibari or Kinbaku, but for me those are too much.

In my mind the bondage we do in the West is more plain and simple then those fine arts.

Here’s a good story.

During the feudal Edo era in Japanese history, samurai used rope in combat and to restrain prisoners of war with a brutal art called hojojutsu that has nothing to do with the fun-loving-erotic thing we enjoy today.

At the time, official laws used knots to torture and extort confessions from captives, and to display alleged criminals to the public.

Public punishment specifically fit the crime, so the tie used to administer it created a legible, symbolic admonition for crowds of onlookers.

The samurai (being both honorable and practical) tied their captives as restrictively, but also as ornately as possible.

The more ornate and complicated the tie, the more respect was shown, so they got VERY complicated.

Safety, Safety, Safety

Safety is not sexy, but neither are accidents.

Rope bondage can be a dangerous activity.

Neither the human body nor ropes are completely predictable and as such, the combination of the two comes with certain inherent risks that are never completely avoidable.

You don’t want your bottom to get hurt – even a tiny bit – and you especially don’t want to put their life at risk!

What may be entirely safe with one person may cause injury in someone else, and in no way do I suggest that bondage will be safe even if you follow all the guidelines set forth in this article.

Rules To Live By

Don’t do it if you’re not sure what you are doing.

Know what you are doing and don’t go too fast.

Train on everything before you do it for real.

Going step by step is slow and boring but it is a real necessity.
Make sure you always have scissors, knife, EMT shears, or something similar on hand.

Don’t wait for the leg to become blue or your subject to faint. If you’re in doubt, cut the rope.

Know what you know and don’t try to do more.

It is probably a bad idea to some amazing pictures and think that you can do the same.

Practice Makes Perfect

Do the groundwork first.

Remember the finger rule – any tie should be loose enough you can slip a finger between the rope and skin.

Talk to your bottom. Make sure you know about any medical issues, fears, etc.
Know your ropes, your hooks, your round steel rings and your D rings.

Make sure they are all maintained and in good condition.
Don’t make quick decisions.

Plan it all in advance.

True, it is not sexy but it is a must.
Your bottom is the main attraction.

Talk to him/her.

Make sure to warn her/him before you are doing anything special, anything that will require him to do some effort.

If he/she said that something is wrong then something is wrong.

Stop and check.

In Conclusion

You are responsible for your own actions so use your head and when necessary, get medical advice.

How To Be My DDLG Daddy

So, you want to be my DDLG Daddy?

Do you want to be a Daddy Dominant? Do you want to be my Daddy Dom?

Some of you out there are naturals. For the rest, here are some very important things that you should know!

Spoil me

Pumper me like I’m your little submissive girl 🙂 Take me to places were you and I can just walk together whisper naughty things to each other. Make me your little pink princess with blown up dresses and little doll shoes with short heels.

Buy me toys and accessories, wrap them with hearts and ribbons and see the stars in the eyes when I open them.  

ddlg quotes  

Communication

I’m your little one all the time, you have to show me that you are there for me as well. I love, adore, and need lots of communication.

Yes, I understand work and real life pressures, I understand when you can’t communicate as much as I want you to.

But, if you really want me, you’ll show it by keeping in touch as often as you can.

It doesn’t have to be kinky or sexy all the time, telling me about your day, your thoughts, the goofy/kinky/shiny thing you saw that made you think of me.

Honestly, if you’re truly interested/charmed/enthralled by me, you’ll want to talk to/with me as much as possible.

In my experience, the level of communication has been a huge indication of a potential Daddy’s level of intentions.

How to communicate ? Here are few ideas for you :

    • First text of the day
      Good morning texts are extremely important! I can be kinda insecure and I generally won’t contact you first. Lets me know that you are thinking about me. Strip me from my issues and shoot me into a great new day with you on my mind.
    • Let me hear you
      Your voice comforts me, excites me, and can take me to some amazing places. I need to hear it at least once a day to be truly content. Videochat is the best, but I will also take a voice message in hard times.
    • Love me, envelop me, encouragement me
      Just like any girl, love and encouragement make me blossom. As a little, I may need more than a grown-up. If you want to see me in full bloom, be my sunshine and watch me grow towards you!
    • Compliment me
      If you like something, mention it! I’ll be sure to do it more often and strive for even more of your approval!

 

Pay attention to me

daddy's here image

 

As a little in DD/LG, I try my best to obey all the time.

But that does not mean that when I am feeling insecure or upset about something that I don’t sway in the direction of bratty behavior, not disobedience but smart comments, petulance or grumpiness.

It is usually that something is bothering me and it is not time for me to talk to Daddy.

I trust you to know to handle me and bring me up from those dark episodes.

I like rules and rituals


Like any little girl, I like rules and want to be reminded where do I stand.  

Those things shows me where the boundaries are.

Like having a nice, safe, grassy, yard to play in, fences (and rules) keep bad things at bay.

Be the alpha male but don’t be a male

whatever daddy says goes DDLG image

Complex ? For sure.

Yes, I want to adore you, I want to follow you, I want to feel weak around you and I want you to be my guardian angel.

I want to be able to depend on you and be sure that you will take care of me for ever and ever after.

But…. I want to be proud that you own me (I also want you to be proud on me) but I would hate to see you cocky.

I want to pat you ego but I don’t want it to be the one that leads us.

Take control over me, lead us together to the better place that you plan for us but don’t be bossy and ignore me.

The plain vanilla-women stuff

Being a Daddy in DDLG is kinda like being an uber boyfriend and an even more amazing man.

A Daddy needs to be able to tell a little what he wants/expects/craves in a clear and honest manner.

Lying, cheating, consent violations, and abuse are anathema to a Daddy.

We all make mistakes, but a Daddy takes responsibility for his as soon as he realizes/processes them, and takes any steps he can to fix them, or at least mitigate the damage.

Maturity (emotionally and mentally) is important in any relationship, but even more so if one wants to be my Daddy.

I’m fairly mature and self aware, and need my Daddy to be, too, if I’m going to trust him.

Nobody is perfect , but it’s very important that you are working on being the best man you can be.

Rest assured, we girls are working on being the best little girl we can be, too!

So what is Daddy for me?

little one

Daddy is my safe place.

He takes care of me and I can be myself, little bratty little girl or just the adult me and he loves and cherishes both.

I can really just let loose.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t have rules to uphold however, in fact there is a great deal that I must follow, thank goodness that many of them are natural.

Daddy is there to give guidance, to nurture, to teach, to have a stern hand when needed, to encourage, and of course to play with in so many ways.  

A good Daddy Dom can be rough (did someone said a sadist?), as I’ve happily found out, sweet, strict and nurturing.

But the type of Daddy Dominant that I think about, dream about, has more to do with the order of the relationship.

Daddy runs the roost, the house and most importantly, his girl. He inspires respect and just a little bit of fear in his little.

Daddy teaches his little girl how to be the best she can be-with proper discipline when she’s naughty, with harsh discipline when she’s being outright defiant, with laughter to see her smile, encouragement when she’s lacking motivation, and always with love and nurturing as the base of all of it.

There’s nothing he won’t do for his little girl-because she is who makes him her daddy.